They are what I call, goals.

2015 Bucket List

Figure out what is next

Learn to cook at least two Chinese dishes

Write five short stories

Fit into size 10 jeans without pain

Sing in public

Become more bold

Study Chinese outside of school

Stay in touch

Say Hi first

Go one month without crying for no reason

Keep a better record of things

Start your book

Re-do 'All the math you'll ever need'

Write and send 10 hand written letters.

Plan and host at least one party

Learn to declutter

Read that book I've been putting off reading

Stick to the plan more

Be spontaneous

I am not making resolutions for 2015. 'Resolutions' not the best of words, I would say. {If you are a 'Miranda' fan, please say that sentence in her voice. If you are not a Miranda fan...what is wrong with you? Go find the first episode, listen to her, and then say that in her voice.} Its too harsh of a word. No wonder we make and break them! “Resolutions”. Rez-o-loo-shuns. Where is the fun in that?

I have created a bucket list. {Yes I know they are just resolutions, thank you for pointing that out.Sit down.} My list is for the things I HOPE to achieve in the fifteenth year of the two thousands. Man does that make me feel old! It has been fifteen years since we freaked out about Y2K? Being around for fifteen years does not make one old, remembering it and many things that came before it, does.

Oh dear, I got old.

No need to dwell! Moving on.

These goals are a bit more on the light side of things. You will note that there is nothing in there about my walk with Father or the like. {Besides being more bold, but that has many meanings} Those kinds of things, I feel, should not be in a list of things I “Hope” to accomplish in a year, but should always be on my list anyway.

Also,because I am trying to be realistic in this list of goals, I have not put anything silly like “Go on a date” or “Become important to a certain someone” since those things are not on any list, of course. {Looks at camera...yes they are}

I am not going to say that I am going to 'loose the extra weight' either, because I have been trying that and nothing has come off. Ok, MAYBE some inches have, thank goodness, but no weight has. That is getting too discouraging to focus on. So I will go back to focusing on the important things....what other see! ;) No one else looks at the scale, and if my doctor says anything about it, then I will just hope I am not in the middle of my 'no crying' month and I can burst into tears to get them off my back about it!

Unfortunately for those that read this blog, the one about keeping better track of things as well as the short stories goals will effect you the most. My memory is not always what I want it to be. For that reason, I want to keep track of it better when it happens. Some of this will be through more typed out journals or record keeping perhaps, but some of it is going to end up spilling out onto this blog. The short stories as well, they will most likely see the light of web-day only here. My first love, well besides the idea of being a wife and mother, was writing. The idea that I could transport someone to a time and place of my choosing, that I could get someone to see what I have in my head through word alone, or the concept of being someone else without ever having to leave my room, those have always been near to my heart. Even if nothing comes of it, I want to get back to working on it. Maybe I am no good at it anymore. Maybe I never was. Maybe I don't care! For a long time, I have wanted to write a song, and with the help of my Dad, I did that in 2013-2014. Turns out I need to leave that up to him, which was no surprise to me! But I still did it.

I have found that I really dislike personality tests or typing a personality. Being told how I act and think has never appealed to me and I feel that is what these tests do. Lately, there has been a lot of talk in my little group of friends about what kind of personality we each have. They have tried to figure out what I am and tell me the meaning behind it all and help me understand the letters and what they mean. And yet, I confuse them all. This is where the two final items on the list come in to play.

In the discussions about personalities and the way people operate, I have been told there are two basic types of people. Those that plan and stick to it, and those that may or may not plan but just go with the flow. I feel like I am smack dab in the middle of it. I LOVE to make plans and use to be that when I made a plan it had to happen or else my brain would self destruct. From time to time I still find myself that way. I like knowing how things will happen, what is expected, what we will do, what the plan is. Yet, more and more, especially because of where I live, going with the flow is far easier on ones heart, mind, and body! If I were to blow a vein every time my plan didn't work out the way I had it structured....pretty soon I'd be all black and blue and no closer to the end result I had in my head.

With that being said, though, I want to know when to do each. There are times when I let my plan and structure fall to the ditch when really there was no need for it. Times when I didn't need to be so noodle like and go with the flow, but I just kept up with it. Yes, you read that right. I want to be more planned in my spontaneity. I want to be better at knowing when the time is to lay back and let the current take me where it may, and when is the right time to fight against the winds and make them blow where I want.

Something I need to keep in mind is that not all of this has to happen in January or February. I think often I get too excited about goals I have set or things I hope to get done in a year and so I barrel head first into it, full speed ahead, only to burn out later and let the list fall to the wayside.

慢慢, 越来越 The first, man man, means slowly. Yue lai yue is little by little. I like these two, not only are the characters pretty, I like the idea of slowly becoming what I am suppose to be and little by little seeing the change. When it comes too fast, there is no time to adjust and the risk of falling back is far too great. When you leave a restaurant you are told to '慢走' walk slowly. Don't leave in a hurry and end up tripping.