A few years ago, I was 'stationed' at the Yantai Bring Me Hope camp for two weeks before a switch over to the Xi'An camp for the final two.
As a 'Staff-Volunteer' an idea we were trying out where I would fulfill both the duties of being a staff member all four weeks as well as being a buddy for all four, I was paired with two beautiful boys during one of my weeks. I was part of the Hospitality crew, so from time to time my family would accompany me on a run to get someone fresh water or more sheets, etc.
One of my boys had never before seen a white person and was, at first, a bit scared by this odd, large women with the bright hair. Our other child was fiercely independent. It took me most of the week to really feel like I was able to connect with my boys much. Though we had our moments, for the most part they were fine to just do things on their own and were 'ok' that I was around but not too much more then that. However, by the end of the week, I was smitten for sure by my two buddies and knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye.
Though I loved both boys very much, I had become more attached to my little independent poppet, even though he didn't often let me get too close or really need me at all. When Friday goodbye day came, I was told that only my older boy would be leaving with the other kids. The two boys had come from different homes and the time table was different for the two of them. We said goodbye to the one we had named Ike, dried our tears, and refocused on the one we still had, the one with the 'I can do anything' attitude.
Because he was only one of two that had come from his home, all the other translators had the rest of the day off and had decided to go shopping in town. My translating partner told me she planned to go with them, and then took off leaving me and little man by ourselves. Being that it was the end of the week, I had more work to do as a staff member to get ready for our next week, and so he followed me around,helping as we dropped off passports at every room, and made sure everyone was stocked on supplies. We spent all day together, playing, colouring, and just having a good ol' time. He blabbered on, the entire time knowing I couldnt understand a thing he said! I would talk to him too, knowing the same was true for him. It was one of the best days of that week. Just me and my boy, hanging out.
That night, we had a debriefing time and I brought him in with me to mine. He played quietly in the room as we all talked about the week and cried together over the children we didn't know if we would ever see again. I remember looking over at him as we were all talking, and saying to the others "I just wish I knew what he was thinking! I wish I could talk to him." He was getting tired I could see, and was fighting sleep off, but he just sat there staring at me from across the room. Sitting next to the bed, I wondered if he would just climb up there and fall asleep, but instead, he came over to me and patted my legs to let me know I should hold him, so I picked him up and placed him on my lap.
Afraid to scare him, I did my best to hold my tears at bay as, for the first time all week, I was 'allowed' by him to cuddle. While everyone cooed at such a touching moment, I explained how he had never before felt comfortable enough to let me hold him for long. He would let me pick him up to get him down a hill that was too steep for him to go down on his little trike, or to help move him to a high chair or something, but every other time he was quick to let me know his place was back on the ground where he had control over where he was going. This time, not only did he let me hold him, he fell asleep in my arms. Not taking it for granted, I rocked him and quietly cried for the rest of our meeting, knowing that in the morning I would have to say goodbye to him as well.
It was this moment, as well as others like it, that stoked the fire in me to learn Chinese. No longer did I want to have to 'wonder' what my kids were thinking, I wanted to be able to ask them! In fact, I would only complete one more summer of camp before deciding to take a year off to save for school.
Now, four years later,I am nearing the end of my third semester of language studies in China. I can finally ask my friends how they are feeling, what they are thinking, and comfort them when they feel like crying.
And what of my little go-getter? He now lives outside of Beijing at a home, where he is called Ronny, the name I gave him at camp. Though he does not know it, the day will soon come when his Dad and Mom will come pick him up to take him home. A day when he will not ever have to face another goodbye day like the one we had four years ago.
If you are interested in helping in the continuation of this young mans story, please visit http://www.gofundme.com/gielr8 to donate and help his parents reach the goal of meeting up with their son for the first time.
"How does someone so small, hold my heart so tightly? I don't even know you, I love you completely."- JJ Heller
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