#ItsTheLittleThings,mail, gifts, and emotions

I pinch myself at times, but it's true....I really do live in China!

I have to much for which to be thankful!! 

And I want to tell you about everything...but I am wiped!

Tomorrow, I shall tell you about:

Why I burst into tears in the admin office during registration.

My shock over last semesters exam results.

My awesome cousin and the drink mix.

My amazing friend who blssed my socks off with a surprise package in the mail.

A gift from an office co-worker

Elephants

My first day of class.

My new roommate.

For now, Day 1:

I didn't want my first one to be about food, even though I had a really awesome lunch that made me super happy! Today the little thing that made me smile was having a wechat conversation with someone from BMH camp. We met first at summit, but didn't talk, and it seems I gave off the impression that I was all business, very serious, and not able to let loose, be silly, and have a good time.{I was not in a good mood at summit} We met again at winter camp where she then saw me acting like a 12 year old, bouncing off the walls, wearing costumes and being an all around fool. We get along well and have been keeping in touch through wechat. 

 #ItsTheLittleThings

Until tomorrow y'all!

I love telling people I live in a Castle!

Lessons, pain, and tiny smiles.

Happy New Year!

 {Yes, you read that right} 

It is the time for Spring Festival! Chinese New Year!

First, a Chinese Lesson:

This is the character Fu. 福 It means Good fortune, luck, happiness. It is a sort of blessing/well wish. Did you do a double take? Yes, the photo is upside right. The 福 in the photo is 倒了{ dao le/upside down. } This is because the word for upside down or being placed upside down sounds a lot like 'dao' 到 which means to arrive. So, when you say that the blessing of good fortune and happiness is upside down, it sounds like you are saying that this blessing is arriving. Cute, eh? 

Ok, That's enough for now.

This week is the Golden Week. Chinese New Year/Spring Festival, the biggest holiday in China. 

It causes things to be rather quiet,dead,deserted,...and dark

Not sure why, but the Holidays have just not felt like Holidays to me at all this time around. Even Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Jan 1st New Year were kinda 'eh' for me. Its not like they were particularly bad, or somber. They were different, the feeling not as much there. {This is not a slam to anyone I spent those days with! I had a great time spending each day with everyone!}

Due to my back still being in a state of ow at times, I have stuck pretty close to home, save for one trip downtown Monday for some more groceries. {I went by myself this time. It went ok, but carrying the bag still hurt more then I would like it to.} 

The streets, though a tad lonely with no cars, are dressed up with lights for the occasion. 

My winter break did not go like I planned. {Wait, one of my plans not going according to plan? That has NEVER happened....right? Oh. right. That's pretty normal.}

I had a big list of things I wanted to get done during this time. Very few of them happened. Though, I did start work on my first short story,and I did have some pretty Epic Skype sessions! 

Work has still not begun on the project I want to have finished in time for camp this summer. I didn't even touch my CQD story. I have not learned how to cook any Chinese dishes. 

And yet, with that said, I didn't plan to go to three Embassies, or see some of my friends who have graduated and go out for pizza, or go to winter camp, or spend a week falling in love with a little boy. I'm ok with my plans not getting accomplished for those reasons!

I also didn't plan on hurting my back and spending so much time in bed. 

My phone decided to try to be all artistic. {in other words....it glitched.} 

 That unexpectedness was not as welcome. However, because of it, I have had the chance to do things I always say I want to do during the school year! Such as stay in bed for the ENTIRE day, never changing out of my PJ's. Read a whole book in one day. Read three books in a week!

And then there is the immense blessing I have had of being able to watch religious debates on youtube. You know it is a good thing when it has you searching through your Word to look things up! Or when you start to think about how to memorize the information to be able to use it later. 

Starting with the new semester, I have decided to begin a new 'series' of blog posts. 

'It's The Little Things'

To be very honest, very often it is the littlest things that make me happy. Getting a text out of the blue from someone, just to tell me they were thinking of me. Finding something I thought I had lost. Eating a great salad that I made myself in my 'window sill kitchen'. A SUPER hot shower. Hitting that note I can never get in a song. 

I am sure there is a little thing in every day. And since I am being honest and blunt, I am dreading this next semester! Not looking forward to it at all. If I could, I would skip it all. Summer can't get here fast enough. But I don't want to have that attitude. Winter break did not go the way I wanted it to and had I known I would spend weeks in pain I would have dreaded it too maybe. And yet I am thankful for so many of the little things that happened during this time. 

This will force me to find something to be thankful for and happy about in everyday. That might be a smile from someone, a break through in an assignment, or food. {Lets face it, a lot of my little things are going to be about food.}  

The semester starts Monday March 2nd.

Here's to the little things. 

The aha moment that made me cry.

Have you ever had a moment of sudden 'enlightenment' where it just made sense, and that sense caused you to cry? 

I just did. And when I say just, I mean as in two minutes ago. Because I decided to document things more often this year, I figured it was a good idea to quick get this down while it is still very fresh in my mind. 

The tears still wet in my eyes.

I can't adopt. 

The one that made me think 'maybe'.

Now a year ago, I would never even have had the thought because it would never had crossed my mind to think of being a single mom. To be perfectly blunt, I always knew that wasn't for me. I am not cut out to be a single mom. I didn't want to raise someone alone, I want a husband. So of course I can't adopt. Duh. 

Then I hit 30. 

Adopting alone was still not a forefront thought even after the milestone of the big 3.0. but the fact that I was now legally allowed to file did not slip my notice. While they still stayed at in the background, it struck me that it might be easier to adopt first and then get married if I met both the guy and my child around the same time. {Since you have to wait 2 years after marriage before you are able to adopt, the fact that my little bundle would have to wait would be too much to handle I know, if I had already met them.} 

I no longer can say "If only I was old enough!" as I had in the past. To some extent, I guess it was safe. Safe to be able to have that rule that said I couldn't. When it is impossible, its easy to say that you would! {I am happy to say that I would be over joyed to ride the tallest coaster in any theme park...how sad that they won't let me on! Bummer. But oh I so would! *wink wink*} 

Lately, I have had more friends who have begun to adopt on their own. I've heard the arguments of "Isn't one parent better then none at all" I had not yet figured out my full feelings on the subject {right or wrong for a single woman to take on motherhood} and didn't really need to delve too much into that...until I met Micah. 

I kid you not. Micah made me do a double take. He made me do a double take at my "I'm not cut out for single motherhood" stance. 

This week, I was going to look into the requirements and restrictions. I was going to do a lot of buzzing and thinking and talking out loud. I was going to figure it all out for myself. 

Then I reached to grab my computer and felt my leg go numb. 

You see, on my way back from my dream worthy 2 weeks at SFCV, I blew a disc in my spine. 

That's when the tears came. 

One parent might be better then none for Micah, 

but not me. 

Not a broken, unable to stand, half Mom. 

For the past two days, I have only been able to get out of bed long enough to do the smallest of things. I can rest, then get up and do a load of laundry. Rest, then do the dishes. Rest and then make something to eat. How would I be able to keep up with a little one like my sweet chubby face if I can't even stand? 

While making my oatmeal for lunch, {so thankful I had some groceries left over from before my trip! I went shopping for a few things my first night back before the pain drove me to bed, and together with some other supplies I have been taken care of! PTL!} I tipped over my bottle of allergy meds. They scattered all over the place, some landing on the floor. 

Some of the most important meds for me. Yes....especially the chocolate!

I decided not to bend over and pick up the ones on the floor, so as not to put that stress on my back. If Micah were here, that would be out of the question! 

But the tears are not just for the loss of a boy I thought might be my son. They are also happy tears. 

I am still hearing Father! He has not made me wait for another answer! 

While I wait to know what is next, while I wait to find out if I will ever be someones other half and be important to someone, while I wait to find out how badly I have messed up my back this time...

I have an answer to something! 

His answer is not always wait.

It's not always yes either. 

But He gave me an answer. 

Thank you!

Now, there are still a lot of these things that won't change just because I am part of a parenting duo! I know that. There is still going to be a whole lot to discuss about family if I am ever married. That is a given. There are still going to be dangers to me being a mom, and I won't lie and say that knowing that doesn't hurt. 

It kills.

But that is not something I have to think about right now!

{Also probably not the right time to think about it anyway, since pain makes me a bit more emotional and blow things out of proportion!} 

Not all of my Aha moments come like this.

 Some are smaller. 

Some hurt less. 

Some hurt more. 

Some are bigger. 

But they always end in me learning. 

And that's always good.

"Oh love that will not let me go. I rest my weary soul in Thee.

 I give you back this life I owe.

 That in your oceans depths its flow may richer fuller be.

Oh Light that follows all my way 

I yield my flickering torch to Thee and my heart restores in borrowed ray 

that in Your sunshine's blaze its day may brighter fairer be. 

Rejoice my heart rejoice my soul my Saviour God has come to thee.

Rejoice my heart you've been made whole by a love that will not let me go.

Oh joy that seeks me through the pain

 I can not close my heart to Thee I trace the rainbow

 through the rain and feel the promise is not vain

 that mourn shall tear-less be.

Rejoice my heart rejoice my soul my Saviour God has come to thee.

Rejoice my heart you've been made whole by a love that will not let me go.

Oh cross that lifts and holds my head I dare not ask to fly from Thee 

I lay in dust life's glory dead and from the ground there blossoms red

 Life that shall endless be!"

For now, being JieJie is enough. 

Hidden Paths, Walks in the Dark, and Translating.

I have to try so hard not to mold my writing to the style of someone else. Its kinda weird to admit that, really, since I have always been so dead set against conforming in this area, Just as my Mother, who homeschooled me through all the blow outs I had about NOT adding the edits she had made to my essay, edits which were there to make my jumbled words make sense. And yet now, when I see a blog that I enjoy reading I get this feeling that I should write more like them. Make my blog more interesting. So I am trying not to do that. But, I have decided that my blog needs more photos. Even if they have nothing to do with what I am talking about.

Boosh! It's a flower. You're welcome.

Many of you that know me know the story already. Seven years ago I was all set to apply to a school and move to Montana. When that door shut with a resounding BANG, I was left feeling pretty lost and frustrated. I took a walk, cried out to Him in regards to my plight, went home and soon found BMH. 

People have said how it was so brave of  me to move here in 2012 to start my language studies. It's never really felt that way to me, since it was just the natural thing to do. I wanted to learn the language, I wanted to be able to talk without using a middle man, what better place to do that but in country? The hardest thing has always been when it gets down to the wire and I don't know the next step. It feels like it takes a lot more guts for me to head back to the home of my birth then to stay in the home of my heart. 

True, there are still many months before I have to make any sorts of housing changes and have a new path. True, the spring semester has not even started. True I have spent my entire fall semester doing all I could to NOT think of the future. 

I don't want to think about fish right now *sob* Why then did I post this photo?

Yet it still creeps in. That fear. The fear of being useless. The fear that this was all for nothing. The fear that I have to give up my dreams and return to a place where I no longer have a place. {It sounds mean, but it is the truth!} 

As much as I told myself that my grades didn't matter to me, that it would be fine to fail them and stay in the same level next semester, actually bombing on my exams {I haven't yet gotten my grades back, but I am 99.99% sure there is no way I could have eeked out a  pass!} stung way more then I expected it to. 

While I had a great time experiencing all that I did with my boss in visiting the embassies and all, I kept feeling like I was striking out. Having the idea in my head that I had failed my studies and knew no more Chinese then I did when I arrived, seemed to be cemented in more firmly when I would blank on how to say things in the meetings. Even the ones in English, I felt like I did not perform the best and let my boss down. 

Already feeling rather low about it all, we went to dinner with friends. I have a hard time speaking Chinese around foreigners who speak better then I do. Its a pride issue, I know. Pride is most definitely one of my huge problems. Out of everyone there at this pizza dinner, my Chinese was by far the poorest, though I was one of two Americans. 

During the meal, one of my good friends was crying. Things have been very hard and lonely for her lately and she was sharing about it. And I sat there. Why? Because I didn't know what she was saying. Oh sure, I caught a word or two here and there, even full sentences at times. But there would be moments when I was sure I knew what was going on only to then have someone else say something that just threw me. {Meaning that maybe I was thinking they were talking about buying bread at the grocery store and how they could only find a loaf of White bread but then someone would agree that White bread is never found in their area. It was just all very confusing.} {And no we were not talking about white bread and grocery stores, its a made up example. Yeah, I saw that coming...sit down!} 

The very thing I had come here to learn and do, be able to communicate to those I love that are in pain, and here I sat at dinner with one of my good friends crying, and I was myself selfishly trying to hold back tears because of what a failure I felt like. Some friend, eh?  

It was such a horrible cycle. And it made my night end in tears as well, while I took a walk after we got back to the hotel. I just needed time to talk with Father and cry out to Him again about all of my fears in regards to my failing language skills and the fact that I really can't see the path 8 months down the road. 

A photo from a taxi in Beijing

{Even that there...here I was in Beijing, the night before I would go meet up with my friends to head to a winter camp that I didn't know I could take part in....I was there having paid no money myself and yet I was asking Father what His plan was and if He had forgotten me? I could write an entire blog about my wayward thinking in that area too, but that is for another day...or maybe not!}

This is the part where I realize I have already made this far too long and I skip ahead. Don't want to loose those who actually read this! :/ 

I love where I am. Being here at Shepherds Field has helped fill me up in just the way I needed. Camp was such an awesome start to refocusing my eyes. I got beat up more then once in terms of my pride, and it was so good! I made new friends, some of who were more then willing {So thankful for this} to take me aside and say "What is with your attitude?". 

And then it happened, 

I have stayed here after camp is over, for another much needed week of building and resting. {I am trying to help where I can, which is so restful really! The kids wear me out, that is for sure, but it is in such a good and much needed way!} 

The other day, I was heading back to the Inn {where I stay here} after having walked my little brother home, and I came across the PT here as she was finishing up work and walking one of the kids home. Since we were both heading in the same direction I waited as she stepped into the doorway of one of the homes. One of the kids we have had at both summer and winter camp, saw me was surprised that I was there instead of having left like the others. N was trying to tell him a bit of news, but he just kept saying "Huh?" and then he looked at me and in Chinese said "What is she saying?"  

I translated her message to him and his question back to her, and so on. 

I translated.

I keep taking my eyes off of Him and thinking that because it doesn't go exactly like I thought it should or would, that something is wrong. When really, all He wants is for me to trust Him. 

There are going to be times of fear still. I already know that. I still haven't seen how badly I blew the exams. I still haven't gotten the chance to talk about coming back to SFCV to work after my schooling, and I don't know that I am going to get the chance to do that. {Talk about it before I leave. My train is at 9 tomorrow morning.} 

But as always....He has this way of reminding me He has not forgotten me, and that it really is just that I have stupidly once again thought I knew better. 

Nothing, not even my winter break, has gone the way I thought it would. 

And that's just fine. 

 

Think about it, where did it go?

Hello!! 

Where did January go?! Oh my goodness! So here I make a goal of keeping better track of things, which was suppose to include making more posts and then I go AWOL for nearly the entire month! 

Got to go out to a mall. Fun...but I was still in my high heel boots. Ouch! I spent 12 hours total in two days in those things!

The short story is that I have been busy! School finished, but work didn't. I was still working for the school every day up until the 17th of January. 

We had a nice, but TINY hotel room during our stay in Beijing

On the 15th my boss and I made a fast train trip to Beijing. That same day we met with the Education manager for New Zealand at the NZ embassy to introduce our school and see if we get students from their country to attend. Straight from that meeting, we went over to the embassy for Ecuador! I have to say that country now has a new place in my heart! ;) It was so much fun to meet the Consular Ambassador of Ecuador, as he was SUCH a nice guy! Very exuberant and warm. Plus, they gave us some really awesome gifts, Im not gonna lie that put them on top! {I mean, we are talking two really cool books which I will have to take photos of later to show off, a mouse pad, a pen that is also a USB, a lanyard, a bookmark, and two DVD's or CD's about the country.{I haven't put them in my computer yet to check them out...been too busy!} But probably the best thing was a matching set of winter mittens and toque that say "All You Need Is Ecuador"! And all of the gifts were in a reusable bag with the same slogan.} The next day, we went to meet with the Educational manager of the Bahamas Embassy. The cool part about that meeting was that my boss asked me to run with it and be the one to make the presentation!

While I was in Beijing with my boss.....I ate this! This, ladies and gents, is a pigs foot. 

I like to say that I have now been to New Zealand, Ecuador, and The Bahamas because technically I was on their land in the Embassy! Being the assistant to the International Students Recruiting Director really has its up sides! ;) 

After all of our meetings were over, we were able to meet up with some mutual friends and have pizza. It was really good to see them! I won't go into detail, but that night, as nice as it was to hang out with friends, was super hard on me. After I felt super selfish and really bad about it, but it did cause me to do a lot of thinking. 

My boss, Karmi, with the Consular Ambassador of Ecuador.

The Ecuador Ambassador, Karmi and I in the Ambassadors office.

So, as great as all of that is, and as perk filled as that makes my job sound, the greatest perk of them all was simply the train ticket itself! Because I had to have a round trip ticket for all of those meetings, I was in Beijing without having to pay for it. And my boss said nothing was in stone saying I had to return on the same day....I had a round trip ticket, that was what was in stone! And so, it was decided that I would not go back with her, but instead meet up on the 17th with some friends and head to.....DUN DUN DUN DAAAAAAA....Shepherds Field Children's Village. 

You got that right, people, that is the home of none other then the coolest kid in all of China! {Ok, really, it is the home of a great number of the coolest kids in China, but as a big sister I have to be a bit more biased! ;) } 

Not only was I here to visit the young man who will soon share the same last name....but also to join in the first ever Bring Me Hope Winter Camp! 

There are no words! No words are enough. 

Bring Me Hope is what brought me to China. It is what opened the door to my heart and allowed China to crawl inside and plant roots. The fact that I continue, five years after first attending camp, to be asked back and get to work with these amazing people is just awesome! I have met some of the best friends a girl could ask for through this camp! Just because the camp was scheduled at a different time of the year, did not change that effect. I have come away with new friends, and more places to stay in China should I ever be able to travel! 

There are so many things I want to share about this past week. I will have to make multiple posts though just to be sure that you, my great readership, are able to keep up and not get too word weary!

As I wax eloquent about my first home in China,BMH, I must also give due praise to our hosts! 

When I first came to China in 2009 and walked into the cafe on SIAS campus after a long trip, I knew I was home. I was home in China, I was home in BMH, I was home at SIAS. It made sense that I later chose to make it my actual first home in China. Back in August when I made a visit to SFCV after a very hard goodbye to both my sisters and my staff team, I had that very same home feeling upon entering the front door. 

I can not say it enough, I love this place. It is special. 

We were welcomed with open arms. Not only have they been the most accommodating and serving host staff we could have ever asked for, but they are just great people! I heard it from so many people about how great they are. 

I had planned to stay a day or two longer then everyone else as I knew I would not want to pack up and head back home. 

My departure date was Tuesday. As in, yesterday. 

I'm still here.

I am having a hard time leaving! Honestly, if I could, I would quit school and just stay here. I would be so cool with that. 

As it is, I get to stay here another week, which, like the round trip ticket to BJ, is another amazing gift from Father that He placed in my lap. {He is doing this not only to bls my socks off, but also as a swift kick in the rear for ever doubting and allowing the fear to take over and put me in the depths again.} 

This time is something I am never going to forget, and I am sure that the staff here does not even know how much it means to me to get to know them and be here for extra time!

I don't think any of them read this, but in case you do, Y'all are amazing and I thank you!! 

Please take a moment to check out The Website  and Their Facebook

There are many many precious children that are here waiting for their forever families! Your son or daughter might be among them, so you do not want to miss them by not clicking those links!!

This...looks gross in photos! BUT, it is honestly one of the best dishes ever! Tastes just like my grandmothers slow cooked pot roast and potatoes! I nearly cried when we ate it the first time. 

I shall post stories and more later, but now...time to run! 

Keep lookin up everyone! Keep on smiling! 

They are what I call, goals.

2015 Bucket List

Figure out what is next

Learn to cook at least two Chinese dishes

Write five short stories

Fit into size 10 jeans without pain

Sing in public

Become more bold

Study Chinese outside of school

Stay in touch

Say Hi first

Go one month without crying for no reason

Keep a better record of things

Start your book

Re-do 'All the math you'll ever need'

Write and send 10 hand written letters.

Plan and host at least one party

Learn to declutter

Read that book I've been putting off reading

Stick to the plan more

Be spontaneous

I am not making resolutions for 2015. 'Resolutions' not the best of words, I would say. {If you are a 'Miranda' fan, please say that sentence in her voice. If you are not a Miranda fan...what is wrong with you? Go find the first episode, listen to her, and then say that in her voice.} Its too harsh of a word. No wonder we make and break them! “Resolutions”. Rez-o-loo-shuns. Where is the fun in that?

I have created a bucket list. {Yes I know they are just resolutions, thank you for pointing that out.Sit down.} My list is for the things I HOPE to achieve in the fifteenth year of the two thousands. Man does that make me feel old! It has been fifteen years since we freaked out about Y2K? Being around for fifteen years does not make one old, remembering it and many things that came before it, does.

Oh dear, I got old.

No need to dwell! Moving on.

These goals are a bit more on the light side of things. You will note that there is nothing in there about my walk with Father or the like. {Besides being more bold, but that has many meanings} Those kinds of things, I feel, should not be in a list of things I “Hope” to accomplish in a year, but should always be on my list anyway.

Also,because I am trying to be realistic in this list of goals, I have not put anything silly like “Go on a date” or “Become important to a certain someone” since those things are not on any list, of course. {Looks at camera...yes they are}

I am not going to say that I am going to 'loose the extra weight' either, because I have been trying that and nothing has come off. Ok, MAYBE some inches have, thank goodness, but no weight has. That is getting too discouraging to focus on. So I will go back to focusing on the important things....what other see! ;) No one else looks at the scale, and if my doctor says anything about it, then I will just hope I am not in the middle of my 'no crying' month and I can burst into tears to get them off my back about it!

Unfortunately for those that read this blog, the one about keeping better track of things as well as the short stories goals will effect you the most. My memory is not always what I want it to be. For that reason, I want to keep track of it better when it happens. Some of this will be through more typed out journals or record keeping perhaps, but some of it is going to end up spilling out onto this blog. The short stories as well, they will most likely see the light of web-day only here. My first love, well besides the idea of being a wife and mother, was writing. The idea that I could transport someone to a time and place of my choosing, that I could get someone to see what I have in my head through word alone, or the concept of being someone else without ever having to leave my room, those have always been near to my heart. Even if nothing comes of it, I want to get back to working on it. Maybe I am no good at it anymore. Maybe I never was. Maybe I don't care! For a long time, I have wanted to write a song, and with the help of my Dad, I did that in 2013-2014. Turns out I need to leave that up to him, which was no surprise to me! But I still did it.

I have found that I really dislike personality tests or typing a personality. Being told how I act and think has never appealed to me and I feel that is what these tests do. Lately, there has been a lot of talk in my little group of friends about what kind of personality we each have. They have tried to figure out what I am and tell me the meaning behind it all and help me understand the letters and what they mean. And yet, I confuse them all. This is where the two final items on the list come in to play.

In the discussions about personalities and the way people operate, I have been told there are two basic types of people. Those that plan and stick to it, and those that may or may not plan but just go with the flow. I feel like I am smack dab in the middle of it. I LOVE to make plans and use to be that when I made a plan it had to happen or else my brain would self destruct. From time to time I still find myself that way. I like knowing how things will happen, what is expected, what we will do, what the plan is. Yet, more and more, especially because of where I live, going with the flow is far easier on ones heart, mind, and body! If I were to blow a vein every time my plan didn't work out the way I had it structured....pretty soon I'd be all black and blue and no closer to the end result I had in my head.

With that being said, though, I want to know when to do each. There are times when I let my plan and structure fall to the ditch when really there was no need for it. Times when I didn't need to be so noodle like and go with the flow, but I just kept up with it. Yes, you read that right. I want to be more planned in my spontaneity. I want to be better at knowing when the time is to lay back and let the current take me where it may, and when is the right time to fight against the winds and make them blow where I want.

Something I need to keep in mind is that not all of this has to happen in January or February. I think often I get too excited about goals I have set or things I hope to get done in a year and so I barrel head first into it, full speed ahead, only to burn out later and let the list fall to the wayside.

慢慢, 越来越 The first, man man, means slowly. Yue lai yue is little by little. I like these two, not only are the characters pretty, I like the idea of slowly becoming what I am suppose to be and little by little seeing the change. When it comes too fast, there is no time to adjust and the risk of falling back is far too great. When you leave a restaurant you are told to '慢走' walk slowly. Don't leave in a hurry and end up tripping.  

The Facebook Friend Break Down

During our speaking final, we were given questions for which to formulate and deliver answers. I had not really prepared as well as I could have, but felt I did pretty well on the first two assignments. {I had to speak about returning things to a store, which I felt qualified to do seeing as how I have worked the Service Desk at Meijer. I also told her how people wanted to take a bite of a donut and then return it at Tim Hortons. I was also given a list of words and had to use them all in a short paragraph of my choosing.}

However, I had forgotten the very last question she had told us about. I am not sure if it was just for extra credit or what, because when I told her I had forgotten all about it she said it wasn't going to effect my grade too much, she just wanted to hear my thoughts on the question and asked that I answer it anyway. The question was “Your most unforgettable moment/person/place/thing/memory in China”.

Now, most of the people she was going to be asking have spent about a year and a half in the country. That's still a long time, but she felt sure that they would have a favourite memory or someone that met that they were most glad for meeting. For me, though, I have been coming to China since 2009! I have met so many people, done so many things, have so many memories.....the list just goes on and on! How do you pick one?

Because he had been on my mind lately for some reason, I told her about the little boy I named Josiah. I told her that I have so many fond memories and things that I will never forget. And yet, I think the memory of holding that precious frail little boy close, and hearing him laugh, will stay with me and even haunt me the rest of my life. I hope it does, to tell you the truth. I never want to forget what it felt like to have to put him back in that wood and metal contraption and walk away. Because it is a feeling I never want to have again. It is something I want to help put an end to.

But, that's not what this blog is about. It got me to thinking about just how much China has effected my life. No, effect is not the right word. This place has a GRIP on my life.

To illustrate this best, I need look no further then Facebook. Just for fun, I went through my friends list to see what kind of a friend make up I have. The results were more then interesting! {I am wordy, remember? You don't need to go through this trip down friend memory lane with me! If you wish, you can just finish reading here! I will understand. Its ok!}

I have 47 relatives on my list. You could say that they are just there because they are related and have to be, but the fact that I have been unfriended and blocked by family proves otherwise! This is also 47 total relatives from both sides,....and I have more cousins then that on one side alone, meaning there are far more people with blood ties to me that are not socially networked to me! 7 of those, however, are my parents, brother and sisters. Those seven I will say are there because they have to be! ;)

A total of 26 of the people listed are former co-workers or people I met through work! That kinda surprised me to be honest! I didn't think I had that many!

8 people are from a time in my life that will always be ranked as the best of my life! I had a really hard time not counting them in the family portion of my numbers!

Though we do not really talk, I have an old {and I mean OLD, have you seen my age?} Kindergarten friend, as well as my favourite kindy teacher from my time at the private school oh so many years ago!

There are those I met through online communities like TFC {I actually have 7 friends from my time playing that game!} And homeschool websites and forums! {YAY for, General Grant, Miss Hopefulness,and the greatest Teek there ever was!!}

I am so thankful for Facebook! Three of the ladies on my facebook friends list were kids when we met! {I was a kid too I mean} And yet now, they are all three married with families of their own! I was 13 when I met one, and 17 when I met the other two, and yet now they are wives and mothers and I get to see their kids grow up!

Even with all of that, neighbours, kids I use to baby sit, people who knew me back before I can remember, and even the random friend along the way....the largest category by far....China.

I have over 300 friends who I met one way or another because of my connection to China. The majority of them are from BMH camp with a close second being, of course, my time in school. There are a few too though, that I have met through my travels in China, or are a friend of a friend whom I only met because I live in China.

I even started listening to certain music because of China! Before camp, I had never heard of Broken Vessels or Joe Brooks {and if you haven't either please go look them up!!} yet now you can find their songs on all my music playing devises!

Sure, we are skipping over the fact that as I type this, I am sitting in a dorm, thats in a Castle {I just have to put that in anywhere I can. I am livin' the dream people! I grew up and moved to a Castle! ;) la dee da!} on a campus, in the middle of XinZheng which just happens to be in this place called China.

It has made me realize....outside of China, I don't really have much of a life do I? ;D Ok, so that is not true {Have you SEEN how the Ducks are playing? YES!!} If you are going to pick a place around which to have your life revolve, it may as well be a place as large as China, am I right?!