{For
those who do not wish to read the 'backstory', please scroll to the
end of this to see a bullet list version}
I read
a quote today from Susan B Anthony that said:
"I
distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do,
because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
And
to that I say, well Miss Anthony, you would have to distrust me then,
because I know very well at this point what it is that the Lord wants
for me to do. And yes, it does coincide with my own desires, but to
that I say
"Delight
thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine
heart." Psm 37:4
I've
said it befor, 10 years ago, I didn't want to go to China. I didn't
have the desire to work with orphans! Sure, travel sounded nice, but
moving to a far away place and leave all I have ever known? Not on my
radar really. Sure I was WILLING to do it, in the same way people are
often willing to help a friend in another state move! You would do it
if you could, but hey, you're not there so you know they are not
going to call on you to help....its the thought that counts though,
right?
But
when I stopped trying to do what I wanted and just delight myself in
the Lord, look for what HIS eyes saw, that is when I wanted China all
of the sudden. And no, you are not the only ones who think that these
things come up in my life out of the blue and without warning.
Making
this sort of a blog post at 11 at night is never a good idea for me
and yet I do it often!
I
am excited about this. Its true! This is my dream job, I am doing
what I know the Lord wants me to do. But to say that I am doing it
tearlessly, without fear, without any bit of sadness, would be a lie.
I want to get that out there too. I need prayer! Thomas has only been
home for three months and I am already going to be leaving. Kade, my
other half, is just getting into her PTA program and will graduate
and become a wonderful aid to the hurting after I have left, My older
brother and sister are going to have another baby in August. Kat is
going to turn 20 and has some big plans for her year. LeyLey just
turned 18 and has started her own business with her best friend. Sam
has graduated now, and the last time I left he grew five feet!
My
parents aren't in China.
My
best friend is not in China.
My
MI {and MI area} friends are not in China.
Yankee
Candle isn't in China.
BUT:
I
am 31, not 13.
I
have some great friends in China, and look to make more!
I
will get to work with Children.
I
have been studying for this now for two years!
and
most importantly, as with every time before:
*I*m
not going...The Lord is sending me.
He
placed this desire in my heart.
He
provided me with the position.
He
is moving the mountains in my way
He
is going to take care of me and my heart.
He
will be glorified.
So
that tells you I'm scared.....but maybe some of you don't know about
what!
Long
story short, if you have read this blog before, you know that I fell
in love with a place called Shepherds Field Children's Village in
TianJin China, which is outside of Beijing. The first time I
walked through the doors, I felt I had found my new home. The second
time I arrived, I was loathe to leave and managed to stay a week
longer than previously planned.
In
mid December, I wrote to the director to ask if he might consider me
for a future/summer time internship with the idea that I also be then
thought of for a full time volunteer staff spot. In early January,
after a 1:30 am Skype interview, I was told I 'got the job'. They are
in need of a Preschool teacher, as well as odd jobs and such in the
office and the like {all those working at SFCV 'wear many hats' as it
was put in my interview.} While I had been thinking this summer was a
good goal, they asked that I come as soon as the money was in order
to begin.
EEEKKKK
Shepherds
Field, while they would like to, is not able to pay their foreign
staff. They {and soon I will be able to say we} all work as
volunteers and must raise their own support. Though I have had many
dissenting reactions from those who have heard I will be 'working for
free' {these reactions have not been from family! Just from those who
do not understand the situation,...or me!} I would have no problem
working my butt off and having no money at all. Problem is,
that doesn't really work. Don't get me wrong, I am going to work my
butt off, and there will not be a paycheck, but money is still going
to be needed! I have must find supporters to keep me over there. {I
have had a few friends suggest that they feel they should NOT give me
any money as it will keep me in the States instead}
As
of this moment, I have supporters totally a little over $100 a month
already in place. This means I need either 20 more people who can
send me $20 a month, or 10 people who can send me $40 a month.
Asking
for money is not an easy thing.
I
know that there many worthy and good things that you could send your
money to! I ask that you speak with Father, to see if this endeavour
is one in which He would lead you to join.
If
you are not able to back me financially, please please please back me
as one of my prayer warriors! As much as I love China and love the
kids, there are going to be obstacles!
Pray:
That
I would remain in the center of the Lords will at all times.
That
I would listen to Him, and be willing to follow where He leads.
That
the money would be there when I need it.
That
I will stay faithful and trusting, not to worry. To always remember
that His timing is perfect!
My
back: My doctor tells me the disease has slowed and I am not
degenerating at the same speed anymore. While this is great news, I
will be working with little kids and know this is going to take a
toll on my back. I still have daily pain which the Lord is always
faithful to give me the strength to handle, and I know He holds the
future of my back and my walking!
My
heart. While I am going to love what I am doing, I will be missing
out on a lot of things here in America! Having 2 homes on earth is a
double edged sword!
My
allergies. I have them pretty well under control but they are my
constant 'back of the brain' companion. Not knowing what could
cause me harm at any moment means being a bit more vigilant....and
I am not always the best watchdog! :)
On
a side note...this means I will not be at Bring Me Hope camp in the
summer. This too, while I knew was bound to happen at some point, has
been a bit rough on me. The saying is 'When God closes a door, He
opens another one' but there is also the reality that when a new door
opens, even if it is the door for whose key you have been searching,
other doors and windows must be closed in order to go through!
I
can not say thank you enough to all of my friends and family
who
have been so incredibly supportive!
I
know I do not do this on my own, and it would not be possible
at
all were it not for the fact that I have a team of people
who,
no matter what side of the world I am on, are able to help pick me up
whether
that is figuratively or literally!
Should
you wish to support me monetarily you can choose
whichever method is easiest for you!
Paypal
is sajmakii@hotmail.com
Checks
can be sent to my parents home address.
If
you wish for more information, or want to let me know you will be
joining my
support
team {In prayer or other means} you can contact me at
jiejiecarm@gmail.com or on Facebook
Thank
you all!
OK,
for those that didn't want to read all those words! :)
What
are you doing?:
Moving
to China
Departure
date still unknown, aiming for Mid/End March
Non-paid/volunteer position at Shepherds
Field Children's Village
Working
as a Preschool teacher, and helping in the office.
What
do you need?:
Need
$500 a month from supporters for living expenses {my room and 2 meals
a day are provided}
Must
make a visa run outside of the country ever 90 days. Est. cost $500
per trip. I hope to save from my monthly supporters to cover this
cost.
25
supporters at $20 a month needed
One
time gifts for visa trips, savings, and other expenses
needed/welcomed
Paypal
info: sajmakii@hotmail.com
Checks
can be sent to my parents home address.
What
will you do to keep me updated?:
Email
updates with photos and stories will be sent.
Should
you wish to be added to this list, please send me a note at:
jiejiecarm@gmail.com
I
will be updating my blog with photos and stories.
What
do I need to pray:
That
I would remain in the center of the Lords will at all times.
That
I would listen to Him, and be willing to follow where He leads.
That
the money would be there when I need it.
That
I will stay faithful and trusting, not to worry. To always remember
that His timing is perfect!
My
back: My doctor tells me the disease has slowed and I am not
degenerating at the same speed anymore. While this is great news, I
will be working with little kids and know this is going to take a
toll on my back. I still have daily pain which the Lord is always
faithful to give me the strength to handle, and I know He holds the
future of my back and my walking!
My
heart. While I am going to love what I am doing, I will be missing
out on a lot of things here in America! Having 2 homes on earth is a
double edged sword!
My
allergies. I have them pretty well under control but they are my
constant 'back of the brain' companion. Not knowing what could
cause me harm at any moment means being a bit more vigilant....and
I am not always the best watchdog! :)
